Saturday, December 5, 2009

Hey ladies...




















Nah, that's not fair. Anybody can answer this. But maybe this is a peculiarity that you rocker ladies have experienced...

What's so hard about meeting people to play music? Or rather, why does it approach a level of awkwardness that's almost as bad as dating? This isn't just speculation on my part, it's a problem I've experienced and I really would like to know. So feedback from the female musical practitioners is appreciated- no, required.

Of course, me being who I am, I have to overthink things and won't just leave it at an open-ended question. I've ruminated on the problem of forming an opposite-sex partnership before in the blog- though, to be fair, it doesn't have to be a boy and a girl, just a matched pair of whatever persuasion. For me personally, I don't need the arrangement to be Moonlighting or The X-Files. I'm married- not only do I have no desire to date random people, it's generally frowned upon. Therefore, I try to bring a professional approach to the whole thing. All business, yo.

So what's the problem, then? Maybe that's where the awkwardness is, and where the responses can help confirm, or not. Do the ladies out in the scene looking to form musical partnerships get bombarded with non-musical requests and non-professional attention? That seems most likely to be true and least likely to hurt my poor sensitive feelings.

Ah well. The work continues, and the great thing about seeking new musical partners is that you're always being exposed to new influences. Did you know that Karen from The Knife has a solo project? NEITHER DID I! Well, now I do, thanks to a guy I talked to recently, and I'm a happier person because of it. So keep forging ahead, kids. Meet new people and make music with them. It's good for you.

11 comments:

Ben Meyercord said...

Yeah, Fever Ray is great.

Ben Meyercord said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TART said...

I think that no matter how selfless and whole hearted we think we are....we always want to be better than everyone when it comes to the creative arts. It's nothing personal. Just human nature. It's purely pyschological that we all want to be adored. Nothing you can do. Just be kind.

Jess Gulbranson said...

Totally true. There is that desire to be adored, and it's an ancient battle. I feel it keenly, not just in the musical arena, either. Like my boy Jimmy Osterberg said, "I'm an easy mark with my broken heart." And like my boy N. Percival Young said, "Only love can break your heart." For me it's an overwhelming need to love everyone- not just my wife and my kids and my family and friends- but also beautiful strangers and internet douchebags. Oddly enough, such a compassion tends to imbalance me and make me selfish sometimes. Or at least self-centered. It's hard work.

But all this is off-topic, TART- you didn't answer the question, and your profile is private, so I call shenanigans.

TART said...

Well, I just couldn't do with being called a "shenanigans". I must have missed the real question. I was just speaking of the level of awkwardness that is "as bad as dating". But, your reply pretty much sums it up. Ironically, I don't even make music. I am the most untalented rock critic you will ever meet. And I don't know why my blog is private....I can't get enough readers as it is. How do I change that? I am usually under the influence of bourbon or sorrow filled dreams when I write on my blog, but mostly bourbon, so how do I change that? The site is tartproductions.blogspot.com. I hope I am able to dispell the shenanigans idea. I could not live with myself if that were my blogging world existence.

Dr. Something said...

Well, I'm more of a mod than a rocker, and all this talk of generalized human ego and desire is getting me a little confused as to what the question actually is, but since this is required for graduation, I'll take a stab at answering.

In terms of seeking out or encountering opportunities for work with other musicians, I definitely approach inquiries or ads specifically seeking a "female band member" with a little bit of caution. There is the possibility that the intent might not be all business. I've had encounters where it's pretty obviously not about music/a professional partnership at open mics, although I've luckily never had the experience of someone pretending to be all professional but really after something else.

Aside from that, I sometimes fear that someone seeking a female bandmate may be viewing me as simply a novelty or gimmick rather than an actual collaborator. I find that this can be awkward, since I'm not entirely sure in what way I'm being evaluated as a potential bandmember, and the feeling as if I'm being judged by how "well" I perform conventional femininity can make things much more uncomfortable.

All the evaluation between relative strangers that goes when auditioning or trying to find collaborators is quite analogous to dating.

What can make things more difficult still is when someone seeking a fellow musician isn't upfront about what they're looking for. I've had some auditions/meetups in which the person seeking a "female musician" was really looking for someone with a very specific look and style but was too afraid or whatever to be upfront about it. (Related rant: it also seems like a lot of folks seeking a 'female singer' are specifically seeking a soprano. Please be specific about this!)

Aside from all that messy business, my biggest problem with finding people to play music with is finding folks with compatible schedules/any available time at all.

Jess Gulbranson said...

TART- You're Ron Trembath, I recognize you from other comments. You're no lady! Too much bourbon, son.

Dr., you have rocked the question out with maximum rockabilly. That's precisely the perspective I was looking for. And I suppose it has been ruined for us good apples, who view the need for a female collaborator as an important aesthetic choice.

TART said...

Wow, you are correct. I am only now learning that this was a lady directed question. Oops, disregard my whiskey inspired opinions. See you on the next topic....if it is unisex.

P.S. yes, I am Ron Trembath, contributor to fensepost.com. Yes, it's a masculine thing to shamelessly promote one's self. Score!

Goldie Davich said...

BTW - I'm thinking about all of this... and maybe we gotta get some more girl readers :-)

Jess Gulbranson said...

Hey, did anyone read SparkleGirl's review of the Hockey show on Craigslist? Despite the... um, linguistic challenges, it was a really energetic review with a nice grasp of music. So, I emailed this 'SparkleGirl' and invited her to have a look at our blog and see if she wanted to contribute. You guys should head over to cl and read it, see if you agree.

Goldie Davich said...

repost it with a link and pic and i'll read it... did everyone know that is a legitimate way to blog? it increased the number or posts without trying to hard and drives traffic to us and builds readership.