Friday, December 18, 2009

The "Grouper Christmas Album" Petition

Yes, that photo is doctored. I don't know that Liz Harris has ever worn a Santa hat onstage in her life, much less one that sports a Guinness logo.

Sometimes a strange opportunity comes along, and you just have to go with it. When the esteemed Dr. Something asked her question of the week, namely which Portland band should come up with a presumably unlikely Christmas album. I decided that the candidate should be Grouper, and judging by the comments, most of us seem to be in agreement. That's a matter of public record.

Now, in these same comments I made reference to a principle that my former bandmate Raoul Fish discovered, whereby any song can be made into a Christmas song by simply adding sleigh bells. Let's call this Raoul's Rule- yet another principle that I have (for better or worse) decided to name, such as Martling's Law of Comedy and Gulbranson's Canyon. Ask me about those sometime. Back to the sleighbells, though. If we have a chance in hell of getting the lovely Ms. Harris to kneel before our collective Zod and put out a Grouper Christmas Album, then we need proof of concept. Well, kids, here it is. And if you thought that no one could take a Grouper track and abuse it with further reverb, then you stand corrected!

And of course, since I can't resist, there's a little surprise at the end. Just for you, Dr.! I hope everyone out there in blogland is just full of the Christmas spirit now. I would like for us to pull together and do something amazing... with our powers combined, compel Grouper to put out the Christmas Album to end all Christmas Albums. So blogger and readers, rockers and critics, human beings and members of the Dandy Warhols, let's team up for this worthy cause and put the word out. Liz Harris, we need you.

With bells on!!!


Ron Trembath said...

This was wonderful! And I agree, let's start a movement. But, let' suggest the happiest of songs to be done. No "Little Drummer Boy" or "Silent Night", they're too obvious. I'm talking about, "Santa Baby" or "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus". That's where it's at!

Ryan N said...

Yes please! But maybe we should have given her more notice.

Dr. Something said...

YES! I will sign this petition. Nice remix, Jess, especially the chime-y ending.