BAT COUNTRY!!!!! "Get your dick out of your heart" edition

Time for the newest installment of BAT COUNTRY!!!!  It's going to be a doozy.

I AM PR artists Watermelon unleash an aptly titled "Boat Show Montage."
Okay then!  I like this.

Like A Villain is poised to be the next Tuneyards.  I'm not sure how I feel about that.

But they are appearing Wednesday at Revival Drum Shop for the Outset series of improvisation concerts.

Yes!  It's easy to make fun of poor people!

Everything Gerard Way touches is poison.  Blech.

In my experience, comparing your music to Joy Division is a bad idea.

Really.  Stop doing it.

These guys probably compared themselves to Wyld Stallionz or something,

And look how well it turned out!

Uh, 1993 called.

It wants its U2 video parodies back.

"Logan and Skyler creatively fuse indie rock with popular electronic house synths to enter frontiers that not many bands are capable of doing.  They also utilize different electronic devices as musical instruments to give themselves an ingenious style."

Didja hear that, Martha?  FUCKING CHRIST, THOSE BOYS USE E-LECTRONIC DEVICES AS MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS!  What'll they think of next?

And that's all I'm up for.  See you on the next installment of BAT COUNTRY!!!  And remember,

"Get your dick out of your heart."

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"I've got Fanne Fox and Wilbur Mills..."

Hope everyone likes the new look.  I was... inspired, when coming up with a new banner image for the blog, to look up that perverted old Italian street fighter, Caravaggio.  And look what I dug up!

She gives neither a shit nor a fuck.

So yeah.  Also in the news, we should have some new bloggers on board soon... cynics, skeptics, mods, rockers, tea maniacs, people I went to high school with... the possibilities are endless.  And of course, if YOU want to blog for Crappy, let me know!  Glory awaits!

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A FRESH LITTLE UPDATE

Well, while we're waiting for Goldie's big announcement, here's some more stuff going on around town-ish!

OMSI AFTER DARK DEMANDS HIPSTERS

This is who I think of when someone mentions "DIY".  What does that say about me?

Unfortunately, when I went to cover last month's OMSI After Dark, I was stricken with a terrible migraine and was unable to stay for the music, which I heard was excellent.  I did get to talk to some interesting vendors and museum staff, and while I think my expectations for the theme were a little high, this month's theme seems not only more grounded, but probably right up many readers' collective alley.

OMSI After Dark Offers Music and Science for 21+ Crowd
Join us in August for “Chic Geeks: Fashion, Music, and the Science of Style “
In Concert: Lost Lander, Voted One of the Top Three Best New Bands
WHEN:
Wednesday, Aug. 29
7 to 11 p.m.; concerts will be at 9 p.m. and 10 p.m.
WHAT:
Local bands have been the newest summer feature of the popular adult event OMSI After Dark, known for kid-free, brain-building science fun for the 21+ crowd!

August Local Bands in Concert:
Lost Lander, voted #3 in the Willamette Week best new band poll, and Blue Skies for Black Hearts

August Science Theme: “Chic Geeks: Fashion, Music, and the Science of Style “
Is Style “art” or “science?” It can be both! Come flaunt your thick-framed glasses and peg-legged hipster jeans! Check out the future of fashion with local designers and go old-school with music on the Gameboy with chiptunes.

Fashion Forward Gets a Whole New Meaning with Interactive Demos and Activities:
  *   Duct Tape Wallets: Is there anything duct tape can't do? Come make one of these practical and oh-so-stylish accessories.
  *   Gimme Distortion!: Ever wonder how a guitar pedal gives you that fuzzed out sound? Play some instruments, crank up the distortion and discover the secret!
  *   Paper Plate Speaker: Though they probably won't replace your home entertainment system, these little speakers can pack a punch, not to mention teach you something about electromagnets and sound while you build them.
  *   Oobleck Monster: See what curious forms a sub woofer can coax from Oobleck - the non-Newtonian fluid!
  *   What's the Frequency?: Do you know the range of frequencies the average human can hear? Test your ears and find out how they stack up.
  *   ChipTunes Music Show: Did you know that the Game Boy relegated to your closet is a versatile musical instrument? Have you ever considered replacing your flaky bass player with a Commodore 64? Watch local musicians repurpose obsolete video game and computer hardware to rock the Planetarium Hall.
Paul Mitchell the School, Portland: Get all glammed up and go strut your stuff!

WHERE:
OMSI, inside and out!

COST:
Regular tickets will be $15 and include OMSI After Dark and the concert
$9 for OMSI members
FREE for OMSI After Dark members

MORE INFO:
Visit http://www.omsi.edu/afterdark to learn more about the current exhibitions on display, local artisans and services featured at the event, and the evening’s themed food and drink menu.

Chiptunes?  DIY speakers?  Hells yeah!

GEOFF BYRD'S "YELLOWJACKET" KICKSTARTER

Yes, that's Geoff with his good buddies Hall & Oates.  Really.

Geoff Byrd, friend of the blog and friend of aspiring child musicians everywhere, is gearing up to record a new album.  "Yellowjacket" sounds like it's going to be a very directly Motown-inspired cut, as opposed to his more contemporary pop.  Geoff is a solid guy and super nice- he's recently moved from Portland to Oly- so let's help him make something awesome.  Check out the Kickstarter here.

JENNY JENKINS, SNATCHED FROM THE JAWS OF MOTHERHOOD

Not pictured- a baby.

I met Jenny so many years ago that I'm sure the actual details are shrouded in... well, let's say mystery.  Senility is not a pretty word.  She was a slinkster cool chick off to college, and I was an urbane young high school lad.  We didn't hit it off romantically or anything, but you know how you meet someone once and know they are unique- it was like that.  Anyway over the years she has become a great quirky folk artist on Bicycle and K Records- in fact, featured on one of my very first posts on the blog.  Jenny had a baby girl not too long ago, and lucky for us she has bounced back from the miracle of life and is playing a show on the 31st up in Oly.  Show details here.

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GRIND GRIND GRIND

Hey everybody- just wanted to apologize for the lack of updates recently.  We're undergoing some life changes (no, not THAT ONE) and the blog will be having a bit of a restructure.  Expect a formal announcement soon, and then we'll be back to providing the quality/quantity of posts that you know and love!

Thx,
CRAPPY

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OMSI After Dark, July 25th, with Wild Ones and Mimicking Birds

Everybody knows that OMSI is awesome.  Everybody likes synthpop and/or indie rock.  (Don't lie, you know you do.)  It is indisputable that futurism- whether retro-, or plagued with zeerust, or the regular ol' philosophical kind- is kickass.  How shall we combine these things... hmm, let me see...

OMSI After Dark!

I'll let the folks at OMSI explain all the pertinent details below, but let's just say I definitely plan to be there next Wednesday night, in bowtie and tweed, acting like the alternate-history-writin' fool that I am.  I'll also be doing an interview with the PIC, which should be quite interesting.  Hope to see you there!

OMSI After Dark Offers Music and Science for “Geeks Gone Wild” 21+ Crowd

July event showcases popular local bands Wild Ones and Mimicking Birds;
Explores science behind future that never happened


WHAT:
Local bands are the newest feature of the popular adult event OMSI After Dark, known for kid-free, brain-building science fun for the 21+ crowd!

July Local Bands in Concert:

Wild Ones and Mimicking Birds

Wild Ones started with Danielle Sullivan and Thomas Himes in 2009 as a synth-pop duo and quickly evolved to include bass player Clayton Knapp and drummer Andy Parker and produce its debut EP "You're a Winner."


Having toured with Modest Mouse and played at festivals such as Austin City Limits and Lollapalooza, Mimicking Birds is no stranger to large crowds.  With lush vocals and a deeply toned acoustic guitar, their songs are ethereal, pensive and austere.

July Science Theme: Jet Packs and RoboMaids: The Future That Never Happened!
Whatever happened with jetpacks, robot maids, hovercrafts, and holodecks? A whole lotta nothing! Explore the future that never happened and the tech that just didn’t take.

Interactive Demos and Activities:

  *   Nano Pants – See the science behind fabric that will repel water
  *   Flaming Tubes and Good Vibes – These flames can groove to the music
  *   Mind Games – Play video games using only your noggin
  *   Holograms – Make a hologram and see it in action
  *   Segway Rides – Whiz around on the transportation of the future
  *   Exploding Ping Pong Balls – Liquid nitrogen + enclosed container
  *   Quiz to the Future – Wild? Or eerily accurate? Explore predictions throughout time
  *   Magic Wallet – Financial planning using simple household items

WHEN:
Wednesday, July 25
7 to 11 p.m.; concerts will be at 9 p.m. and 10 p.m.

WHERE:
OMSI, inside and out!

COST:
Regular tickets will be $18 and include OMSI After Dark and the concert
$9 for OMSI members
FREE for OMSI After Dark members

MORE INFO:
Visit http://www.omsi.edu/afterdark to learn more about the current exhibitions on display, local artisans and services featured at the event, and the evening’s themed food and drink menu.

ABOUT OMSI
Founded in 1944, the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry (OMSI) is one of the nation’s leading science museums, a world-class tourist attraction, and an award-winning educational resource for the kid in each of us. OMSI is located at 1945 SE Water Avenue, Portland, OR 97214. For general information, call 503.797.4000 or visitwww.omsi.edu<http://www.omsi.edu/>.

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Kendrick Lamar w/ Best Coast, vitaminwater and FADER uncapped concert series

So, when I was hooked up with this show, I was generally excited, but didn't have any idea what was in store.  I brought along my lovely wife, hoping not only to impress her as a snooty bigtime journalist, but perhaps take advantage of her razor wit.

The first thing to mention is the format of this concert series, a collaboration with vitaminwater and FADER- the Uncapped shows are in most cases a juxtaposition of two artists- one indie rock and one hiphop.  Now, I know... sounds like a recipe for either awkward or awesome.  You know, like the Judgement Night soundtrack.  Actually, it works.

Immediately I knew that this was going to be an interesting night.  The venue, instead of being a club or random warehouse, was actually kind of both.  It's a place called Lumberyard MTB over off 82nd, a brand new combination indoor bike park/pub.  So yes, I love Portland.  Now, when I say it was both, this is what I mean:

WHAT

The whole place was like that- a combination of raver candybeams and non-Euclidean geometry.  Disorienting, but cool.  There was an instant photo spot, libations, and guardrails everywhere, surrounded by a ton of people wandering here and there, with a palpable buzz.

And the people!  There were a living crapload of people, the vast majority of whom were not bloggers.  The crowd was that perfect melange of ages and cultures that you only see as extras in stock photography.  And the energy was building.

It's this energy that really made the night for me.  In so many of the concerts I take in, there's a sort of restless nonchalance.  You know what I'm talking about.  Not here, as I would soon see.  While waiting for the first band, Kayla and I met some nice hipster kids who were admiring her tattoos, and pretty soon we realized that these hipster kids were big fantasy nerds, and I got one of them stoked about my upcoming novel.  We decided to do a photo swap, so here is Kayla with our new friends.

















Awww.

The first act came on- Best Coast, out of Miami.  I'm not sure why this concert series is flinging artists all the hell around the country, but it's a cool idea.  Kayla, determined to get some sass in, offered this about the indie rockers: "Pretty cool for a bunch of Rilo Kiley ripoffs."  Which is pretty high praise from her.  I agreed- Best Coast was pretty cool, but somehow they seemed a little mismatched with the room.  With a crowd that hyped up, anything less than manic could possibly come off as flat.

After a brisk set, Best Coast left us in the hands of the venue's DJ, who had a nice mix going, and we all hung around to make small talk.  Just kidding, 75 percent of the people there went outside to smoke and left us inside to enjoy the sudden welling up of fresh air and 3G bandwidth.  People began to file back in, and as the PA blew through "Gold Digger," "Poison," and Kayla's fave "Jane Fonda," we noticed that our hipster friends were tearing up the dancefloor.  Yes, boogying the fuck down.

Now it was time for Kendrick Lamar to go on, and with everyone back in the room that energy was back.  I was not at this point familiar with him, but with what little I'd read I was very stoked.  Apparently everyone else was- as soon as Lamar hit the stage, there was a mass vibration that wasn't all from the air being pushed by sorely tasked woofers.  The energy stayed tight the whole time, and get this- it seemed like everyone knew all the songs, shouting and responding at all the right times under Lamar's intense command.  I'm not sure I've ever seen someone work a room so solidly, and I have seen James Brown live.

Kendrick Lamar's almost flawless set (marred only by a perhaps carcinogenic level of gratuitous dub siren) was enhanced by a couple of really nice touches.  First was Bethany, singer from Best Coast, doing a duet with Lamar, as seen here:


After that was a local guy named Kenny, who furiously ripped through one of Lamar's songs with scary accuracy, and stayed on as hype man through most of the show.  Portland, represent.  We were very impressed.

So that was the night.  Sometimes you start out feeling a little cynical, ready to just jump on everybody's shit. For a show and a crowd to completely reverse that and leave all involved feeling great- a rare blessing.  I have a feeling the rest of the Uncapped series is going to be much like this, so if you get a chance to see them, do it.  Also check the Uncapped youtube page for videos of earlier shows.

And as far as the mission to combine business with pleasure- or journalism with date night- how did that go? Well, I think my wife was impressed.

Kick it!

Yo, VIP.

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BAT COUNTRY!!!!!! "I'm Your Ice Cream Man" Edition

Skipping Girl Vinegar have made the most twee indie Nickleback video EVER.


Oh yes I did go there!

 Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop taking my crazy pills.
Now this is the sort of slick funky whatchamafuck I was looking for.

 Holy crap, what is going on here?!?
Okay, it was cool until this guy started talk/rapping. Go to his gig on July 16th and yell at him for me.

 "Oh, it's positively maudlin outside."
I don't really know what to make of this video. I like it for a few moments, then it's all, "Hey, Live called and they want their identity back."  


Here we go.
.  
See- dark music, minimalist video- classy all around. 


 Hold on to your beer!
  
Well, it started out cute.


 Local rapper J Poetic doesn't seem like he really means it.  
I guess give him points for trying.


 So, I was simultaneously scared and eager to check this one out.  
Well, it is totally one step away from being a Die Antwoord video, but the song is pretty cool. 


 That's it for Bat Country!!!!! for now. Oh, wait. Ice cream. I totally forgot to make my ice cream-related announcement. Soon! Here's a little something to tide you over.

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WOOP WOOP IT'S SOME FRIENDS OF THE BLOG

OUTER SPACE HEATERS- "Desolate Surf" EP

Local Vantucky artists Outer Space Heaters have just dropped their debut EP and I would like to share it with you.  As usual, it's disclosure time.  I did attempt to be their keyboard player, but as I'm sure Adrienne Hatkin would be glad to tell you, I am a soulless critic and I could not hack it.  So I was satisfied with writing a zeerust-y narration for them and remaining friend of the band.

OSH specializes in a very specific blend of space rock and instrumental surf.  No Jan-and-Dean-esque harmonies here- instead just blissfully reverbed ambient spaces and old school proggy surf shredding.  It's easy to lose the concept of groove when dipping into that well- but I am pleased to say that guitarist Chad Van Dyke et al do not ever do so.  Hooray for them, and hooray for us.



ZYGOTE- "00/10"

Okay, well maybe it's not that big a secret.  Zygote is the "abstract, IDM, chillwave... dub/minimal" persona of our dear friend DJStephenR, also known as Architects+Heroes label head Stephen Ruiz.  This sharp gentleman actually looks like this:

And rips shit up like this.  I'll let the music speak for itself, but let's just say you should sit down and find some big ol' piano-painted cans and LISTEN.  Ambient it is not.  Definitely a change from his more uptempo stuff as DJStephenR, but just as welcome.

Architects + Heroes should also have some news about some upcoming shows here in town, and maybe... dare I say it... a LAPTOP BATTLE??!?!?!

TYLER SJOLANDER- "totally not Conway anymore or some shit"

Geez, look at this guy.  So I just met Tyler down in the blighted wasteland known as Redding, California, and he is a pretty cool dude.  I knew by his v-neck shirt that he was a musician, and as it turns out, he plays alt-country.  A lot of people like that sort of music, don't you know?  As it turns out, not only is there a burgeoning indie music scene down in Redding, but also my man Tyler's music is pretty darn good.  He's not with his previous project Conway, but is now striking out on his own and hopefully will be my man in Redding as far as the music skinny goes.


Well ladies and germs, that's it for the moment, but remember- I'm no tease.  So here's your obligatory title-invoked video, so crank your piano-painted cans up!!!

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